Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?

4 years 4 months ago #28590 by seadragon57
seadragon57 replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
After 100 yrs at the bottom of the Atlantic,
Irish Divers were amazed that
The swimming pool on the Titanic was still full.

FECKIN EEJITS!!!

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4 years 4 months ago #28591 by Barjumpa
Barjumpa replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
Old Butch

Fred was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.

He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.

This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.

Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.

Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

Fred's favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!

When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

To Fred's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring.

He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

Fred was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Brisbane City Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize," but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.

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4 years 4 months ago #28592 by jdz
jdz replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
Several men are in the changing room of a golf club.
A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker. The man says, "Hello?" A woman's voice comes through, "Darling, it's me. Are you at the club?" "Yes," the bloke replies.
The woman says, "I'm at the shopping centre and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?" The man says, "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
"Thanks," says the woman, "I also stopped by the Mercedes garage and saw the new 2009 models. I saw one I really liked. It was $60,000." The bloke says, "Alright, but for that price I want it with all the options."
The woman replies, "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000._
"Ok, make an offer," says the man.
"Great. I'll see you later!" comes the woman's voice, "I love you so much!" The bloke says goodbye and hangs up. The other men in the changing room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.
He smiles and says, "Anyone know whose phone this is?"

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4 years 4 months ago #28593 by Barjumpa
Barjumpa replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
An 18-year-old suicide bomber blew himself up and appeared before Allah.

He said, "Oh, Allah, I did your bidding, but I have a request.Since I'm only
18 and spent all my time in terrorist training school, I have never been with a woman. So, instead of 72 virgins, who also won't know what to do sexually, can I have 72 whores?"

Allah regarded him for a moment, then replied, "Actually, the 72 virgins are here in heaven because asseholes like you murdered them before they could experience the pleasure of sex. So you're here to service them. Since they're virgins, they're quite sexually ravenous; and, frankly, you'll be on constant, exhausting duty."

The bomber responded, "Well, I guess I can live with that. How hard can it be to keep 72 women satisfied for all eternity?"

And Allah replied, "Who said they were women?"

Now there's a concept I hadn't thought of..........

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4 years 4 months ago #28594 by Sharky
Sharky replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
Australias first female prime minister Joke.
Juliar Gillard
Goodbye you got everything you deserved.......

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4 years 4 months ago #28595 by spiro
spiro replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
quote:

Originally posted by Sharky

Australias first female prime minister Joke.
Juliar Gillard
Goodbye you got everything you deserved.......



At least Julia Gillard can spell and use appropriate grammar..[;)]

Good riddance!

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4 years 4 months ago #28596 by Barjumpa
Barjumpa replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
"Always See The Big Picture"

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their Tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.

Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see? The Lone Ranger replies, 'I see millions of stars.

What that tell you? asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, Astronomically speaking, It tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Why, what's it tell you, Tonto?

"You dumber than buffalo sh8t. It means someone stole the tent..

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4 years 4 months ago #28597 by Sharky
Sharky replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
For those who haven't heard:

New Zealand just passed both laws - gay marriage and legalised marijuana.

The fact that gay marriage and marijuana were legalised on the same day makes perfect biblical sense because Leviticus 20:13 says,

"If a man lies with another man they should be stoned."

We just hadn't interpreted it correctly before!

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4 years 4 months ago #28598 by Barjumpa
Barjumpa replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
Another Government Study Provides outstanding Results

CSIRO Officials admitted that they found about 200 dead crows on the highway between Noonamah and Palmerston, in Northern Territory, where there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.

The Territory Government approved and the CSIRO contracted a bird pathologist to examine the remains of all the crows and he confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu, much to everyone's relief.

However, he determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, and only 2% were killed by car impact. (Didn't know there was a
difference!)

The Territory Government then hired an Ornithological Behaviourist to determine the disproportionate percentages for truck versus car kills.

After 18 months of research and $2.7 million spent, the Ornithological Behaviourist determined the cause in the deaths.

When crows eat road kill, they always set-up a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.

His conclusion was that the lookout crow could say "Cah", but he could not say "Truck".

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4 years 4 months ago #28599 by Barjumpa
Barjumpa replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class,
'Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?'
No one answered until little Mary stood up and said,
'You should not be asking sixth graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the Principal, who will then fire you!'

Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again,

'Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?'

Little Mary's mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her,

'Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!'

The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class,

'Anybody?'

Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said,

'The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.'

Mrs. Parks said, 'Very good, Billy,' then turned to Mary and continued.

'As for you, young lady, I have three things to say:
One, you have a dirty mind.
Two, you didn't read your homework.
And three, one day you are going to be very, VERY disappointed.'

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4 years 4 months ago #28600 by Sharky
Sharky replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
As a guitarist, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a paupers cemetery in the back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost.

I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the he**** was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.

I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didnt know what else to do, so I started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like Ive never played before for this homeless man.

And as I played Amazing Grace, the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my guitar and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.

As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, I never seen nothin like that before and Ive been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.

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4 years 4 months ago #28601 by Barjumpa
Barjumpa replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
Two whales, a male and a female, were swimming side by side in the ocean.

Suddenly, the male whale spots a ship in the distance.. He recognizes it as the whaling ship that killed his father.

Filled with anger, he says to his female companion, "That's the ship that killed my father! Let's swim closer!"

When they were close enough, the male said, "Why don't we swim under the ship and blow air through our blow holes and break the ship into a million pieces? That will be sweet revenge." And the female agreed to this.

So they each took a deep breath of air, swam under the ship and blew enormous amounts of air under the ship. The ship flew into the air and crashed back to the sea and broke into a million pieces.

The pair of whales started to swim off when they realized that the sailors were not dead, but clinging to pieces of wood and floating in the ocean.

The male whale was furious and said to the female whale, "They're still alive, but I've got another idea. Let's swim around and gulp up all the
sailors!"

That's when the female stopped swimming, looked at the male and said, "Oh no... I agreed to the blow job but I'm NOT swallowing the seamen!"

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4 years 4 months ago #28602 by Charlie
Charlie replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
Too clever by half: 25 highbrow jokes

Source: The Independent



1. A photon checks into a hotel and the porter asks him if he has any luggage. The photon replies: No, Im travelling light.

2. Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?

3. What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac spend most of his time doing? Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

4. A TCP packet walks into a bar, and says to the barman: Hello, Id like a beer. The barman replies: Hello, youd like a beer? Yes, replies the TCP packet, Id like a beer.

5. An electron is driving down a motorway, and a policeman pulls him over. The policeman says: Sir, do you realise you were travelling at 130km per hour? The electron goes: Oh great, now Im lost.

6. Pavlov is enjoying a pint in the pub. The phone rings. He jumps up and shouts: Hell, I forgot to feed the dog!

7. How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A fish.

8. There are 10 types of people in this world. Those that know binary, and those that dont.

9. When I heard that oxygen and magnesium hooked up I was like OMg.

10. The barman says: We dont serve faster-than-light particles here. A tachyon enters a bar.

11. A Buddhist monk approaches a hotdog stand and says: Make me one with everything.

12. What do you call two crows on a branch? Attempted murder.

13. An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are walking down the street together. A juggler is performing on the street but there are so many people that the four men cant see the juggler. So the juggler goes on top of a platform and asks: Can you see me now? The four men answer: Yes. Oui. Si. Ja.

14. Never trust an atom. They make up everything.

15. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, its a hardware problem.

16. A student travelling on a train looks up and sees Einstein sitting next to him. Excited, he asks: Excuse me, professor. Does Boston stop at this train?

17. Did you hear about the jurisprudence fetishist? He got off on a technicality.

18. Werner Heisenberg, Kurt Gdel, and Noam Chomsky walk into a bar. Heisenberg turns to the other two and says: Clearly this is a joke, but how can we figure out if its funny or not? Gdel replies: We cant know that because were inside the joke. Chomsky says: Of course its funny. Youre just telling it wrong.

19. A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says: Five beers, please.

20. Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? Hes 0K now.

21. An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The bartender says: Whatll it be, boys? The first mathematician: Ill have one half of a beer. The second mathematician: Ill have one quarter of a beer. The third mathematician: Ill have one eight of a beer. The fourth mathematician: Ill have one sixteenth of a The bartender interrupts: Know your limits, boys as he pours out a single beer.

22. What does the B in Benoit B Mandelbrot stand for? Answer: Benoit B Mandelbrot.

23. Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French caf, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness. He says to the waitress: Id like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream. The waitress replies: Im sorry, Monsieur, but were out of cream. How about with no milk?

24. A classics professor goes to a tailor to get his trousers mended. The tailor asks: Euripides? The professor replies: Yes. Eumenides?

25. A programmers wife tells him: Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen. The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.

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4 years 4 months ago #28603 by Sharkbite
Sharkbite replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
15a. How many Hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None, it will be fixed in 2.0 of the firmware.

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4 years 4 months ago #28604 by Barjumpa
Barjumpa replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
A Harley biker is riding by the zoo in Taronga Park, Sydney when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage.

Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.

The biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch.

Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.

A reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter, addressing the Harley rider says 'Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I've seen a man do in my whole life.'

The Harley rider replies 'Why, it was nothing really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger and acted as I felt right.'

The reporter says 'Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist so tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page... So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?'

The biker replies that he is an SAS soldier just returned from Afghanistan and I'm a Liberal party supporter'.

The journalist leaves.

The following morning the biker buys the paper to see news of his actions and reads, on the front page:

SAS SOLDIER ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH

That pretty much sums up the media's approach to the news these days.

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4 years 4 months ago #28605 by Sharky
Sharky replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
Critical Thinking At Its Best!

Woman: Do you drink beer?
Man: Yes

Woman: How many beers a day?

Man: Usually about 3

Woman: How much do you pay per beer?

Man: $5.00 which includes a tip (This is where it gets scary !)

Woman: And how long have you been drinking?

Man: About 20 years, I suppose

Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5,400 correct?

Man: Correct

Woman: If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?

Man: Correct

Woman: Do you know that if you didnt drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?

Man: Do you drink beer?

Woman: No

Man: Wheres your Ferrari?

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4 years 4 months ago #28606 by Sharky
Sharky replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.
'How do you feel about sex?' he asked, rather tentatively.
'I would like it infrequently' she replied.
The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, leaned over towards her and whispered -
'Is that one word or two?'

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4 years 4 months ago #28607 by Sharky
Sharky replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
Paddy took two stuffed dogs to the 'Antiques Roadshow'.
Ooh! Said the presenter, This is a very rare set, produced by the celebrated Johns Brothers taxidermists who operated in London at the turn of last century. Do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good condition?
Sticks? Paddy replied.

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4 years 4 months ago #28608 by Sharky
Sharky replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
Invitation: We are hosting a charity concert for people who struggle to reach orgasm.

If you cant come let me know

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4 years 4 months ago #28609 by Sharky
Sharky replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
A city slicker named Tommy was on vacation in Texas. His hosts, being very hospitable, invited him to the local rodeo especially to see the greatest bucking bronco of all time, Blue Steel.

Blue Steel was famed and renowned throughout the West for being the toughest meanest horse there ever was. He had seen off so many would-be riders that the rodeo organisers had promised $10,000 for anyone who could ride him just for 10 seconds.

That afternoon, all the local Cowboys tried their best but Blue Steel lived up to his reputation and threw them all off with the greatest of ease.

As a joke the organisers then offered the prize to anyone in the crowd who would dare to tangle with such a beast. Up jumped Tommy and of course everyone laughed at him. But the organisers decided to let the city boy have a try.

Blue Steel bucked and lunged but Tommy not only stayed on the horse for 10 seconds but he stayed on for 20 seconds, then 30, then a minute! A few minutes more and Blue Steel was so exhausted he calmed down and Tommy rode him all around the ring like a birthday party pony.

Everyone was astonished. "Considering you've never even sat on a horse before" said Tommy's friends "how on earth did you manage that?" "Easy" said Tommy "my wife's an epileptic"...

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4 years 3 months ago #28610 by Sharky
Sharky replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
Subject: Blonde Mother in Law
The mother-in-law arrives home from the shops to find her son-in-law boiling angry and hurriedly packing his suitcase.

"What happened ?" she asks anxiously.

"What happened!! I'll tell you what happened. I sent an email to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my fishing trip.

I get home... and guess what I found ? Yes, your daughter, my Jean, with a naked guy in our marital bed!

This is unforgivable, the end of our marriage. I'm done. I'm leaving forever!"

"Calm down, calm down!" says his mother-in-law. "There is something very odd going on here. Jean would never do such a thing! There must be a simple explanation. I'll go speak to her immediately and find out what happened."

Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile. "I told you there must be a simple explanation .....she didn't receive your E-mail !"

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4 years 3 months ago #28611 by spiro
spiro replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?" She in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit."

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4 years 3 months ago #28612 by Sharky
Sharky replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
A guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand.

He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub.

A genie appears and tells him he has been granted one wish.

The guy thinks for a moment and says, "I want to live forever."

"Sorry," said the genie, "I'm not allowed to grant eternal life."

"OK, then, I want to die after a Labour government balances the budget and eliminates the debt."

"You crafty little bastard," said the genie

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4 years 3 months ago #28613 by gbsailing
gbsailing replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
quote:

Originally posted by Sharky

Well, last week I tweeted that I helped my Uncle Jack off a horse, but forgot to use capitals. The RSPCA has been on my case




You wouldn't think an association as professional as the RSPCA would take the word of a little birdy, would you?

[:-}][:-}][:-}][:-}][:-}][:-}]

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4 years 3 months ago #28614 by Sharky
Sharky replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
Passengers on a small commuter plane are waiting for the flight to leave. They're getting a little impatient, but the airport staff has assured them that the pilots will be there soon, and the flight can take off immediately after that.

The entrance opens, and two men walk up the aisle, dressed in pilots' uniforms-both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a seeing-eye dog, and the other is tapping his way up the aisle with a cane.

Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin; but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up. The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming.

The plane moves faster and faster down the runway, and people at the windows realize that they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport territory. As it begins to look as though the plane will never take off, that it will plow into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin - but at that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air.

The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon they have all retreated into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.

Up in the cockpit, the copilot turns to the pilot and says, "You know, Bob, one of these days, they're going to scream too late, and we're all gonna die."

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4 years 3 months ago #28615 by Sharky
Sharky replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
A crowded Qantas flight was canceled. A single agent was re booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS." The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."

The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?" Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention please?" she began, her voice bellowing throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at the gate WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to the gate."

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore, F*** you!" Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to stand in line for that, too."

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4 years 3 months ago #28616 by MeRodent
MeRodent replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
quote:

Originally posted by Sharky

A crowded Qantas flight was canceled.


quote:

the man glared at the United agent



Re-purposed joke maybe?

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4 years 2 months ago #28617 by aquaholic
aquaholic replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
What did the kiwi say to the jew?
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.
.
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.
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Hey Broo

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4 years 2 months ago #28618 by Sharky
Sharky replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
Some more non PC jokes.

The human body has 7 trillion nerves... my wife manages to get on every one of them.
________________________________________________________

I fitted strobe lights in the bedroom. They're brilliant... It makes the wife look like shes actually moving during sex.



My wife said that she was leaving me because I always exaggerate.
I was so shocked I almost tripped over my cock.



I went to the doctors office the other day and found out that my new doctor is young female and drop dead gorgeous.
I was embarrassed, but she said, Don't worry, I am a professional I've seen it all before.
Just tell me whats wrong and I'll check it out
I said, My wife thinks that my dick tastes like asparagus.



I was pretty excited when my new girlfriend sent me a text message claiming that she loves anal.
Dyslexic lesbian *****, it turns out that she really loves someone called Lana.



A guy is watching a film with creepy organ music on the TV when he suddenly yells, Don't enter that church, you damn fool!
His wife asks him, What are you watching?
Husband replies, Our bloody wedding video.



Life is like a willy.... Soft and hanging freely... its women who make it hard.



I said to the wife, Get me a newspaper.
Don't be silly, she said You can borrow my iPad.
That spider never knew what hit it.



I bought a new perfume for my wife called Chloroform but she says she doesn't like it.
She says that she tends to get sleepy and it makes her bum sore.

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4 years 2 months ago #28619 by Sharky
Sharky replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
40 Shades of grey

He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face, as his wife moved forwards, then backwards, forward, then backwards again... back and forth ... back and forth ... in and out ... in and out.
She could feel the sweat on her forehead and between her breasts, and trickling down the small of her back, she was getting near to the end.
Her heart was pounding ... her face was flushed ... then she moaned, softly at first, then began to groan louder.
Finally, totally exhausted, she let out an almighty scream and shouted,
"OK, OK! I can't park the effing car! You do it, you SMUG bastard!

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