Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?

3 years 10 months ago #28761 by Sharky
Sharky replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
While she was "flying" down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.

The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic
patronising smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"

To which she replied, "I'm late for work."

"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"

I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.

The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up
to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide."

"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot bum hole?" he asked

"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."

Traffic Ticket $95.00
Court Costs $45.00
Look on the Cop's Face.............. PRICELESS

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3 years 9 months ago #28805 by Barjumpa
Barjumpa replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
'An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond compare.

With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman.

Shortly there after he met a farmer who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away.
So he explained his mission to the farmer, asking for permission to marry one of them.

The farmer simply replied, 'They're lookin' to get married,so you came to the right place. Look 'em over and pick the one you want.'

The man dated the first daughter.
The next day the farmer asked for the man's opinion.

'Well,' said the man, 'she's just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice...pigeon-toed.'

The farmer nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls; so the man went out with the second daughter.

The next day, the farmer again asked how things went.

'Well,'the man replied, 'she's just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly tell...cross-eyed.'

The farmer nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if things might be better. So he did.

The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming,'She's perfect, just perfect. She's the one I want to marry'

So they were wed right away. Months later the baby was born.
When the man visited the nursery he was horrified: the baby was the ugliest, most pathetic human you can imagine. He rushed to his father-in-law asking how such a thing could happen considering the beauty of the parents.

'Well,' explained the farmer, 'She was just a weeeeee bit, not that you could hardly tell...
Pregnant when you met her.'

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3 years 9 months ago #28825 by Sharky
Sharky replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
For those not so tech savvy people out there - RESETTING THE PASSWORD

"Sorry, your password has been in use for 30 days and has expired - you must register a new one."

roses

"Sorry, too few characters."

pretty roses

"Sorry, you must use at least one numerical character."

1 pretty rose

"Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces."

1prettyrose

"Sorry, you must use at least 10 different characters."

1fookingprettyrose

"Sorry, you must use at least one upper case character."

1FOOKINGprettyrose

"Sorry, you cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively."

1FookingPrettyRose

"Sorry, you must use no fewer than 20 total characters."

1FookingPrettyRoseShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessRightFookingNow!

"Sorry, you cannot use punctuation."

1FookingPrettyRoseShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessRightFookingNow

"Sorry, that password is already in use."

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3 years 9 months ago #28861 by Sharky
Sharky replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"...

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my
testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment
and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles
gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:

Are - my - test - results - back?"

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3 years 9 months ago #28901 by Norse
Norse replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
Lord Gort arrived at the Somme batle front one day to carry out a tour of inspection. He was accompanied by his A.D.C.
At the time the Somme front was an ocean of mud & had to negotiate a long line of duckboards. Presently he spied a slouch hat lying in the mud. He asked his A.D.C. to reterive it.
Over went the ADC & a bit of starining succeded in rasing the hat a few inches when an Aussie voice from underneath. " Go easy mate" I've still got my flamin strap under my chin.
Hearing this Lord Gort & his companions hurried to rescue the Digger. After about 10 minutes of straining & pulling the voice spoke agian . " Ah-h It's no bloody good . I've still got me flaming feet in the stirrups "

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3 years 9 months ago #28942 by Sharky
Sharky replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face, as his wife moved forwards, then backwards, forward, then backwards again ... back and forth ... back and forth ...
in and out ... in and out.

She could feel the sweat on her forehead and between her breasts, and trickling down the small of her back, she was getting near to the end. Her heart was pounding ... her face was flushed ... then she moaned, softly at first, then began to groan louder.

Finally, totally exhausted, she let out an almighty scream and shouted,

"OK, OK! I can't park the f***ing car! You do it!

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3 years 8 months ago #28977 by Barjumpa
Barjumpa replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
I was in a pub Tom Price in the Pilbara of Western Australia last Saturday night, when this really brutally ugly girl came up to me, squeezed my **** and said, "Give me your number, sexy."

I replied Have you got a "Pen?"

She smiled and said "Yes."

I replied, "Well you better get back to it, before the farmer notices you're missing."
The following user(s) said Thank You: SA Dave

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3 years 8 months ago #28978 by Barjumpa
Barjumpa replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started...

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3 years 8 months ago #28979 by Barjumpa
Barjumpa replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
SEX WITH AN OLDER MAN

When George Burns was 97 years old he was interviewed by Oprah Winfrey, Oprah asked,' Mr. Burns, how do you carry so much energy with you? You are always working and at your age I think that is remarkable.'

Mr. Burns said, 'I just take good care of myself and enjoy what I do when I do it.'

Oprah said, 'I understand you still do the sex thing,even at your age.'

George said, 'Of course I still do the sex
thing, and I am quite good at it.'

Oprah said, 'I have never been with an older man, would you do it with me?'

So they had sex and when they finished Oprah said, 'I just don't believe I have ever been so satisfied, you are a remarkable man.'

George said, 'The second time is even better than the first time."

Oprah said, 'You can really do it again at your age?'

George said, 'Just let me sleep for 1/2 hour. You hold my testicles in your left hand and my willy in your right hand and wake me up in thirty minutes.'

When she woke him up, they again had great sex, and Oprah was beside herself with joy.

She said, 'Oh Mr. Burns, I am astounded that you could do a repeat performance and have it be better than the first time.. At your age, Oh My, Oh My!!!'

George said that the third time would be even better. 'You just hold my testicles in your left hand and my willy in your right hand and wake me in thirty minutes.'

Oprah said, 'Does me holding you like that kind of recharge your batteries?'

George said, 'No, but the last time I had sex with a black woman she stole my wallet.'

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3 years 8 months ago #28980 by Barjumpa
Barjumpa replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
4 Husbands


The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just got married for the fourth time.

The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. "He's a funeral director," she answered.

"Interesting," the newsman thought.

He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.

She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years.

After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, and a preacher when in her 60's, and now - in her 80's - a funeral director.

The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.


She smiled and explained,

"I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."

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3 years 8 months ago #28981 by Barjumpa
Barjumpa replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
Once upon a time ... A Mumbai Indian, a black African, an Arabic Muslim and an tanned Australian were walking together on Bondi beach when the African stumbled over a bottle in the sand.

He picked up the bottle, rubbed the sand off it, and........ a Genie appeared!

"I can only grant four wishes," the Genie said. "Since there are four of you, you may have one wish apiece"

Pointing at the African, he said, "Since you found the bottle, you may have the first wish."

He thought for a moment then said, "I wish for a fleet of ships so that I can gather all my people and take them back to our homeland."

Poof! It was done! Thousands of ships appeared on the horizon.

The Indian said, "I wish for enough aircraft to take all my peoples back to our homeland!"

Poof! It was done! Row after row of aircraft filled the sky.

The Muslim said, "I wish for a hundred thousand camels to take all of my people way from this horrible country loaded with infidels so we can live in peace in Muslim countries and serve Allah."

Poof! It was done! A hundred thousand camels suddenly appeared on the beach.

Turning to the Australian, the Genie asked, "And what is your wish?"

The Aussie watched as the loaded aircraft began flying out, then looked out to sea and watched the loaded ships sailing out into the sunset, then he looked at all of the Muslims getting on top of the camels and riding west.

He said, "Just a slab of cold beer, mate, it doesn't get any better than this!"

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3 years 8 months ago #28985 by Sharky
Sharky replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
A priest says to his friend, the rabbi, that he has a perfect way of eating for free in restaurants.

"I go in at well past 9 o'clock in the evening, eat several courses slowly, linger over coffee, port and a cigar.
Come 2 o'clock as they are clearing everything away, I just keep sitting there until eventually a waiter comes up and asks me to pay.
Then I say: 'I've already paid your colleague who has left. Because I am a man of the cloth, they take my word for it, and I leave."

The rabbi is impressed, and says: "Let's try it together this evening."

So the priest books them into a restaurant and come 2 o'clock they are both still quietly sitting there after a very full meal. Sure enough, a waiter
comes over and asks them to pay.

The priest just says: "I've already paid your colleague who has left."

And the rabbi adds: "And we are still waiting for the change!"

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3 years 8 months ago #28995 by Barjumpa
Barjumpa replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
" It's only when you see a mosquito landing on your testicles that you realise that there is always a way to solve problems without using violence. "

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3 years 8 months ago #29040 by Barjumpa
Barjumpa replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
A man received the following text from his neighbour:

I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again.

The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.

A few moments later, a second text came in:

Damn autocorrect. I meant "wifi", not "wife".[^(=)^]

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3 years 8 months ago #29042 by Barjumpa
Barjumpa replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. 'I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds. When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60lbs! 'Why, that's amazing!' the doctor said, 'Did you follow my instructions?' The Irishman nodded....'I'll tell you though, by jaesuz, I t'aut I were going to drop dead on dat 3rd day.' 'From the hunger, you mean?' asked the doctor. 'No, from the ?!%#+!! skippin' !

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3 years 8 months ago #29073 by Sharky
Sharky replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.

Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch. Just after getting into bed the woman's husband also comes home unexpectedly, she tells her lover to hide in the cupboard, not realising that the little boy is in there.

After a little while the little boy says, 'Dark in here.

The man, who obviously got a real fright not expecting to hear anything, let alone from a little boy says, 'Yes, it is.'

Boy - 'I have a football.'

Man - 'That's nice.'

Boy - 'Want to buy it?'

Man - 'No, thanks.'

Boy - 'My dad's outside.'

Man - 'OK, how much?'

Boy - 250'

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the cupboard together.

Boy - 'Dark in here.'

Man - 'Yes, it is.'

Boy - 'I have football boots.'

The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, 'OK How much this time?'

Boy - 750'

Man - 'Sold.'

A few days later, the boys' father says to the boy, 'Grab your boots and football, let's go outside and have a game of soccer.

The boy says, 'I can't, I sold my ball and boots.'

The father asks, 'How much did you sell them for and to who?'

The boy says, 'To a friend of mine for a 1,000..'

The father says, 'That's a terrible thing to do, overcharging your friend like that'. 'That's 10 times what they cost when they were new, I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your terrible sins.'

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, 'Dark in here'..

The priest says, 'Don't start that s#!t again little man, you're in my cupboard now

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3 years 8 months ago #29116 by Barjumpa
Barjumpa replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
A Japanese couple is having an argument over ways of performing highly erotic sex:

Husband: "Sukitaki."

Wife replies: "Kowanini!"

Husband says: "Toka a anji rodi roumi yakoo!"

Wife on her knees literally begging: "Mimi nakoundinda tinkouji!"

Husband replies angrily: "Na miaou kina tim kouji!"




I can't believe you just sat and tried to read this - as if you understand Japanese!

Unbelievable!

I knew you would read anything as long as it is about sex.

You need help....

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3 years 8 months ago #29189 by The Phantom Wreck Rat
The Phantom Wreck Rat replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
"Sunday Morning Sex"

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."

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3 years 8 months ago #29192 by seadragon57
seadragon57 replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
The Children at the local pre school took their Teacher presents for Christmas..
Firstly little Mary-Anne who's parents owned the local chocolate shop, walked up to the Teacher and gave her a nicely wrapped box and it was full of the best chocolate. The teacher was overjoyed and thanked her so much.
Next Brian, who's parents owned the Florist shop, gave her a huge display of flowers.
Now Johnny who's parents ran the local pub came up with a box nicely wrapped but it was leaking from the bottom. The teacher picked the box up and licked her fingers and said to Johnny Hmmmmmmm Chardonnay? No Johnny said, so she licked her fingers again and said Champagne? and Johnny replied no it's a brand new puppy dog.

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3 years 8 months ago #29211 by Sharky
Sharky replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
A door to door salesman knocks on a door..door opens up and there's a 12 year old boy standing there with a lit Cuban cigar, a cocktail, and a copy of hustler folded under his arm...salesman asks ''is your mom or dad at home?..kids says ''what the f--k do you think?''

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3 years 8 months ago #29212 by Barjumpa
Barjumpa replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
I like the way Little Johnny,,,,,,,,,,,,,, wants to roll
Teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Little Johnny says: "I wanna hit the powerball and be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest whore on the planet, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, and an Infinite Visa Card, and bang her three times a day in the most exotic places on earth".

The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Johnny, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson .....

"And how about you, Sarah?"

"I wanna be Johnny's whore."

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3 years 7 months ago #29222 by Sharky
Sharky replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
The Oscars

His lawyers got a hard job ahead of him. Realistically, it looks like Pistorius hasnt got a leg to stand on.

Oscar clearly misunderstood when his girlfriend told him that on Valentines Day he had to take her out.

Oscar Pistorius is pleading not guilty due to temporary diminished responsibility. He claims he was legless at the time of the incident.

Whatever happens in court, he still has a career. The IOC say hes a front runner at the next Olympics for pistol shooting.

Police reconstruction indicates that Pistorius lost it when, for his Valentines Day gift, his girlfriend gave him a pair of socks.

New Valentines Day card: Roses are red, violets are glorious. Never creep up On Oscar Pistorius.

Too many Oscar Pistorius jokes already. Trying to come up with a new one is like taking a shot in the dark.

Looks like he has an expensive lawyer. I hope he can foot the bill.

Otherwise, the Oscar goes toJail !!

New evidence has been found outside the Pistorius home that completely acquits him of his girlfriends murder. Footprints!

She didnt notice Oscar sneaking up behind her. It was the silence of the limbs.

I see what Pistorius is doing. He is going to jail for 25 years and when he gets released Bam! President of South Africa. Thats how it works over there, right?

When Oscar Pistorius said he wanted to be just like able-bodied athletes, who knew he meant OJ Simpson?

Surely Oscar Pistorius isnt the first man to wake up legless during Valentines night, then shoot all over his partner whilst imagining shes somebody else?

First Tiger Woods, then Lance Armstrong, and now Oscar Pistorius. I think Nike should start telling their athletes Just Dont Do It.

Hollywood are doing his life story; its now going to be called Blade Gunner.

If found guilty hes gonna have to take it on the shin.

And finally,

Anyone making jokes about Oscar Pistorius is just prosthetic!

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3 years 7 months ago #29229 by Sharky
Sharky replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
A blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates.

'I'm sorry,' St Peter said 'but Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly arrivals.'

'That's cool' said the blonde, 'What does the Entrance Exam consist of?'

'Just three questions' said St Peter.

'Which are?' asked the blonde.

'The first,' said St Peter, 'is Which two days of the week start with the letter 'T'? The second is 'How many seconds are there in a year?' The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.'

So the blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought (I expect you to do the same).

The following morning, St Peter called upon the blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied, 'I have.'

'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the letter T?'

The blonde said, 'Today and Tomorrow.'

St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.

'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions?' St Peter went on, 'How many seconds in a year?'

The blonde replied, 'Twelve!'

'Only twelve?' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure?'

'Easy,' said the blonde, 'there's the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.'

St Peter looked at the blonde and said, 'I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away shaking his head.

A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. 'I'll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

The blonde replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.'

'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?'

'It's Andy.'

'Andy??'

'Yes, Andy,' said the blonde.

This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked 'How in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?'

'Easy' said the blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited till his billy boiled.'

And the blonde entered Heaven...

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3 years 7 months ago #29237 by Barjumpa
Barjumpa replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."
Wearily he reached across held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.

A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me."

Mildly irritated he reached across gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my Neck."

Angrily he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"To get my teeth!"

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3 years 6 months ago #299146 by Sharky
Sharky replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
A POSITIVE ATTITUDE

Thursday night I gradually woke up stiff as a plank in hospital's ICU, tubes up my nose & down my throat, wires monitoring every function & all around my head, hell of a pain over my left ear, and a gorgeous nurse hovering over me.It was obvious I'd been in a serious accident.
She looked at me deep & steady and I heard her slowly say, 'You may not feel anything from the waist down.'

I managed to mumble in reply,

'Can I feel your tits, then?

NOW "THAT'S" A POSITIVE ATTITUDE

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3 years 6 months ago #299292 by Webguy
Webguy replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."

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3 years 6 months ago #299293 by Webguy
Webguy replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"

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3 years 6 months ago #299294 by Webguy
Webguy replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."

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3 years 6 months ago #299306 by Webguy
Webguy replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
A blind man wanders into an all Girls Biker Bar in London, England by mistake.

He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the waiter, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it's only fair, given you are blind, to tell you you're in a girls biker bar and you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously "Mister", do you still wanna tell that joke? "

The blind man thinks for a minute, sighs, shakes his head, and mutters, 'No, it's a good joke but not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

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3 years 6 months ago #299307 by Webguy
Webguy replied the topic: Barjumpa's Rainy friday funnies.... who has some?
A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there are only 3 Survivors; Damian, Darren and Deirdre.

They manage to swim to a small island and they lived there for a couple of years doing what's natural for men and women to do.

After several years of casual sex, all the time, Deirdre felt absolutely horrible about what she was doing.

She felt having sex with both Damian and Darren was so bad that she killed herself.

It was tragic but Damian and Darren managed to get through it. After a while, nature once more took its inevitable course.

Well, a couple more years went by and Damian and Darren began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing.

So they buried Deirdre.

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